I looked up the definition of gossip the other day. It described it as casual, often unconfirmed talk about the personal affairs of others, sometimes used for social bonding, managing reputations, or reinforcing group norms. It even broke gossip down into categories… positive or neutral, negative or malicious, and just plain idle chatter.
Funny thing though, nowhere in all that reading did it mention gossiping with a four-year-old. There’s probably a good reason for that.
It had been a while since I’d had a good visit with my four-year-old friend, Ms. Violet Snow, and I was reminded real quick why those conversations are worth having. Violet is what you’d call a true social butterfly. Walk anywhere with her and it’s “Hi, Violet!” from every direction while you just quietly fade into the background. I’ve seen it happen firsthand.
Our visit started with her mom sharing that Violet had recently told her to “chill out.” I had to laugh… honestly, she might be onto something. There are plenty of grown folks, myself included, who could take that advice to heart.
Violet just wrapped up her time at Mother’s Day Out and proudly told me she’ll be heading to Pre-K this fall. We talked about school, about costumes, and about reading to the little ones. She already knew a bit about that since I once showed up at her grandmother’s house in costume. That made quite the impression.
Then she filled me in on her Halloween plans… not just for this year, but for the next couple of years. I admire that kind of planning.
When I asked about summer, she told me about the Barbie Dream House Santa brought her. That sparked a little nostalgia for me. I told her about making doll furniture out of tuna cans and all the things you can create with a good shoebox. It reminded me of a time when imagination came easy and judgment didn’t exist.
My four-year-old friend hasn’t learned about body image or comparison or all the other things that seem to weigh people down as they get older. Spending time with her felt like stepping back into a simpler, kinder way of seeing the world.
We also celebrated her first dance recital. It was one of those days full of joy, dancing like no one’s watching, big smiles, and flowers that said, “This matters.” And it did.
She’s grown taller since I last saw her, and those curls of hers have gotten even longer. I pulled one gently and watched it bounce right back into place. Just like her spirit.
Somewhere in the middle of our little “gossip session,” it hit me how much I needed that conversation. Life has a way of making us forget the simple joy of talking, really talking, without judgment or agenda.
Maybe when the world starts to feel heavy with gossip, we could all take a little advice from a four-year-old…
Chill. Violet, keep being you. You give this old girl a lot of hope for the next generation.
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